I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
