i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
