North Korea, Best Korea!
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
