I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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