He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
