I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
