hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
