Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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