Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
