we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
