your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
