well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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