I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
how does that bad decision feel?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
