you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
