Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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