nut hugger
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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