By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
