I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
So vagazzling was a success
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
