I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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