god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
