He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
