Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
