I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
