a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
