He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
