I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
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