there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
