Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
i now understand why vodka
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
