It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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