After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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