i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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