these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
