dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
