I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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