My nipple is on Facebook.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
