GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
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