Grow some girl-balls and come out already
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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