at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
