I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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