just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
