You're earring is so big in my mouth
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
did i walk over a car last night?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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