maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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