shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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