glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
