Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
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