Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
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