Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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