Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I am full of burrito and curiosity
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
