Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
