i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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