Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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