dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
