whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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