I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
my liver is dry heaving
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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