the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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