Moan for me like Helen Keller
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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